Noise

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       As I walked one dreary evening,

       Trundling though a wooded glen,

       I felt a strange and awkward presence

       Mumbling each now and then.

       This mumbling soon grew into

       A deeply bodied growl,

       Coming from a place nearby,

       Put forth by something foul.

       "Stop!" I said so loudly

       I could see my voice appear

       Wavering in the pitch black,

       I spoke again as it drew near.

       "What are you fiend? Why bother me

       With constant vicious groans?

       Have you come to prey on me

       And pick clean all my bones?

       Why do you growl so?

       Are you a ghoul with skin of gray,

       Or perhaps a succubus

       Here to drink my soul away?

       Stop grumbling you unknown brute,

       You ruthless carnivore!

       Be you changing lycanthrope

       Or twice mouthed manticore?

       What mythic beast could roar as such,

       To shake my very person?

       And since I can not see you,

       My confusion only worsens."

       "Well what are you?" the voice then said,

       "Have you claw or hand?"

       "I," I said, "Am hungry . . .

       Oh now I understand."

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The Presidents of Yesterday . . .

. . . TODAY!!!!!!

Here's the first of a string of themed comic gags:

I plan on doing more, but I need to stop worrying about the jokes not making sense because time-traveling presidents is already a stretch. More to come I hope!

Happy Halloween!

A day late, I know, but I hope that everyone had a wonderful weekend filled with good company, zany antics, and most importantly, a fair amount of frightening small children. I find this last bit to be the most important aspect of the entire holiday.

I had such a blast over the entire weekend that I'm already looking forward to next year's Halloween, though the upcoming holiday season is definitely worth getting excited over as well. If there truly is anything better than scaring trick-or-treaters, it's family and mashed potatoes.

 Lysergic Acid (LSD) and God.

    The many faces (and mouths) of dropping acid:





That does happen to be the actual chemical structure reconstructed with some distressingly furry pipe cleaners. I was quite proud of the face paint which I don't think is half bad for being self-administered.

I need a dremel!

Here's the pumpkin I carved last weekend!!

It was a white-skinned pumpkin about the size of a head, so I couldn't pass up the chance to make a skull.

I used an assortment of knives, but primarily a dremel which I had never used before. For those who don't know, a dremel is a rotary power tool with various sanding and drilling bits usually used for metal working, jewelery making. . . etc.

It'd be pretty sweet to light it on fire and make a headless horseman costume =)

"C'est un piège!"

And as we draw ever closer to Halloween, I present yet another costume!

2008's majestic Admiral Ackbar.

Made from a tan t-shirt, an old sweatshirt, two sponges, some markers, a lab coat and some gardening gloves.

"Your Mavis Beacon can't handle wpm of this magnitude!"


Here's me shaping the head over a volley-ball.







"Take evasive action!"

More unpainted sculpture . . .

Here's a bird I gifted to my mum.

It's a Chickadee.

In order to retain the shape of delicate protrusions (e.g., the beak, the legs, etc.), sculpt them ahead of time and bake them by themselves. Then they'll be rigid when you need to add them to the finished piece. This works GREAT with sharp spines and teeth!

Deep-fried alligator on a stick

I have eaten said food, and it has been deemed delicious.

I made a trip out to the Arkansas State Fair. My arteries are now rock solid, but I tried some very interesting food, and learned a lot about alligators and how to effectively frighten small children with alligators. It's been a good week, I'll try to update a little more regularly.

Here is another poem crafted during my trip to Guatemala. It was inspired by maggots, and thus, as an entomologist, it is very close to my heart. The way maggots will literally be when I expire. =D
Enjoy:

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Fly

Fly so kindly, fly so dainty,
Sculler silver winged,
Casting hums across the void,
With lutes both silver stringed.

Fly so hollow, fly so ugly,
Costume made of bones,
Your music only plays,
for weathered kings on rotting thrones.

Mourning jester, frantic dervish,
Wailing to and fro,
Playing when the banquet ends,
Where few else dare to go.

Fly who glistens, fly who shines,
The last light there for them,
Cry forth to all as you let fall,
Your pale requiem.

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